Very Old, Very Kind, and the Very Very Last
by dreamingofimpossiblethings
Summary: The Doctor is many things. A wanderer, a helper, a murderer. An ancient being, with so much pain and loss darkening his ancient eyes. Sometimes it is all too much. This is a collection of poems that I write about the Doctor and his life and losses. Please leave your thoughts in a review! (Pretty please with a jammy dodger on top?)
1. You, Doctor

You, a traveller, a helper, a god,

You, a wanderer, a drifter, so odd.

You, a warrior, a killer, of hate,

You, a redeemer, a healer, too late.

You, who lost, and never could find,

You, so sad, it made you more kind.

You, drenched, in the blood of whole worlds,

You, with secrets, that never unfurl.

You, eyes dark, with sorrow and guilt,

You, with renown you regret being built.

You, who travels across the great skies,

You, with such rage in your ancient eyes.

You, so easy, to just jump off the shelf,

You, who loathes nothing more than yourself.

You, who feels pain, in every breath,

You, who'd be thankful, for the gift of sweet death.


	2. When we start to run

A/N so here's another little poem. It's from the Doctor's perspective, reflecting upon his companions and his journeys with them. Basically the main idea is asking if the means justifies the end. If the journey justifies their death, or loss.

Please review! Review for virtual Doctor hugs! :)

•••

My hand outstretched

I whisper "run"

You always follow

When the time does come

Danger is near

Hot on our heels

Death may be close

Away we must steal

Through time and space

We'll travel afar

To each small wonder

To every star

The times will be great

We'll bring mercy and peace

To the most evil of beings

The adventures won't cease

But as all things must

This time will end

There is always loss

I you will transcend

Is it worth the ending?

When the journey is done?

I ask myself this

When we start to run


	3. Mad man with a box

A/N woaaahhhh these poems are just pouring out of me! This time- haikus!

•••

Mad man with a box

Young, fun, innocent, only

That's on the outside.

Glad man with a box

Journeys through the universe

Until they all end.

Sad man with a box

Grieving, for loss after loss

Never to forget.

Mad man with a box

With age comes guilt, hate and rage

War against one's self


	4. The man who lives upon a cloud

A/N another another! This is based on The Snowmen, before the Doctor mets Clara again. Thank you so much for your reviews! And please leave your thoughts again!

•••

The man who lives upon a cloud

Separate from the world

He picks his way through peace and war

If only to observe

The man who drifts above us all

Has no known kith or kin

He lives and breathes his every breath

With memory of sin

The man who harbours two cold hearts

And cannot ever die

He suffers twice the love and loss

This is why he lies

The man who tries to stop himself

From ever getting close

To any human he might so meet

No losses he shall host

The man who lives upon a cloud

Alone in the sky

This way he never says hello

Or has to say goodbye


	5. Last man standing

A/N So I got thinking about all the innocent blood on the Doctor's hands. All the people he killed to save the earth, or save reality, or to save his companions, or even just to save himself. And so I wrote this.

Thank you so so so so so so much for the reviews! Thank you times infinity! I love you all!

•••

Last Man Standing

All is lost,

All is lost,

All is gone in the world.

I give in,

I give in,

White flags are unfurled.

They are dead,

They are dead,

I stole their final breath.

I, the thief,

I, the thief,

Evaded my sentence of death.

Why should I,

Why should I,

Live on their stolen hours

Just let me,

Just let me,

In the shadows cower

Oh the last,

Oh the last,

Plagued with relentless woe

Hang my head,

Hang my head,

Ever the evil foe

Can't repent,

Can't repent,

For this unforgivable sin

I am lost,

I am lost,

Universe, you win.


	6. Raggedy man, goodbye

A/N So... MATT SMITH IS LEAVING *UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING*

And I know I have already written quite a bit in tribute to eleven (who will ALWAYS be my Doctor) I also wrote this. And yeah.

Okay so I know the rhythm for this one is wonky, I know it doesn't flow perfectly. But I NEEDED to get this out. And to be honest, I wasn't thinking very well when I wrote this. I was kind of half crying.

•••

Ten was sad and lonely and lost

He didn't want to go

Then you came in a swirl of gold

Shouting 'geronimo'

Fell from the sky 'fore Amelia Pond

Craving fish fingers and custard

Promised to return, twelve years late

More than a little bit flustered

We fell in love with that smiling face

That joy, that spark, that fun

No doubt in our hearts that you were

The Doctor, so basically, run

Most feared being in all of existence

To nothing you would conform

And all evil would cower and quiver in

the face of the Oncoming Storm

It made you anger and rage to view the ongoing

Extent of this hate earnestly

But, your friends, they kept you as yourself

Preserving the power of mercy

You showed them great wonders of space in return

The expanse of the black skies

Hiding all emotion with a small cheeky smile

And a fondness for bow ties

You drifted across the planets of space

So many people you met

Friend or foe, it mattered not

You they will never forget

With a flick of the wrist and fiery eyes

Always to save the day

You taught us to find the good and the bad

In what was thought just 'okay'

You showed us the strength of love and loss

Both lined in your old face

Under that shock of chestnut brown hair

You thought yourself a disgrace

Please, do not believe such things

You saviour of so many souls

So many praises are sung of the man

Who makes evil pay their due toll

Eleven, you liar, you hero, you child

Optimism masks your wounds

But to this false image, over the grief

We were so closely attuned

You knew, more than any, the first rule of life

That all must always die

Thank you for running with us for so long

Raggedy man...goodbye


	7. Push to Open

A/N So I wrote another thing. Thanks so much for your reviews! :)

•••

Police box

Push to open

Deepest shade of blue

Stole a mad man

Ran away

Off to see the universe

Each swirl and spark of time

The galaxies of space

Infinite possibilities

So easy to be lost

And never found

Flying through oblivion

Hope you don't fall

Into the black

Where light cannot touch

With its soft, yearning fingers

And dark awaits

With greedy hands

So fly

Don't ever stop

TARDIS and her mad man

Keep running

Don't stop

Souls and sights come and go

Losses and finds

Beginnings and ends

But ever constant

Are the TARDIS and her mad man

Always running

Never stopping

Lest they fall

Into the black

And end

So they run

The mad man

And

His

Police box

Push to open


	8. Just One More

A/N so here's another. Thank you guys soooo much for reviewing! I'm so glad you all like these, even if they may make some of you almost cry (don't worry, I come close while writing them too)

Shout out to Leilathegalaxydefender for reviewing almost every update so far!

•••

Just

One more friend he lost

One more life he cost

One more fire in frost

Just

One more time he spent

One more shattering rent

One more to lament

Just

One more wave of grief

One more life he thieved

One more ghost in brief

Just

One more memory shed

One more wound that bled

One more companion dead

But

That

Is

All.


	9. Come along Pond, please

A/N Hey guys! Thank you so much for all your reviews so far! Really, you are all fantastic.

This next one is about one specific event of The Angels Take Manhattan. You know the one I mean. I just re watched it and was hit by a feels freight train. Brb gonna go cry.

•••

Come along, Pond

On a world of adventure

A path through all of time

Come along, Pond

We'll save the universe

For us the bells will chime

Come along, Pond

My fiery friend

With mercy, pure and good

Come along, Pond

Teach me to live

And love the way that I should

Come along, Pond

I'll show you the stars

You'll show me to be human

Come along, Pond

Infinity awaits

Each planet and world alluring

Come along, Pond

We'll run and run

Together, we'll never stop

Come along, Pond

There need not be

Reason for any teardrop

Come along, Pond

We've come so far

Can't bear to let you go

Come along, Pond

Don't leave me alone

I've so much more to show

Come along, Pond

Stay here with me

One more loss, I won't survive

Come along, Pond

Or the me that you know

Will die, and won't be revived

Come along, Pond

All that you taught me

Will be for nothing but naught

Come along, Pond

That mercy, that good

I'll lose, as if never sought

Come along, Pond

If you must leave

Grief is all I will see

Come along, Pond

Not more guilt, more loss

The Doctor, I'll no longer be

Come along, Pond

Oh merciless world

I'm begging, on my knees

Come along, Pond

The girl who waited

Come along, Pond, please.


	10. Lost and alone

A/N hey guys. I wrote another sad thing.

What is my life any more but doctor who and fanfiction and feels and depression?

•••

Lost and alone

He runs from his past

Old and troubled

The very very last

Great and frightening

Stained with frozen blood

Small and cowering

Memories in mud

Aged and ageless

Can never atone

Proud and shining

Weapons sharply honed

Light and childlike

A contrasting mask

Dark and shadowed

On an aimless task

Lone and adrift

He runs from it all

Scared and selfish

And won't face the call

Drained and hateful

He falls to the ground

Black and damaged

To life he is bound

Feared and fearing

Ask how does he cope?

Plagued and empty

He clings to blind hope


	11. The man who never would

A/N so I've been doing a rewatch and I got an idea from the Doctor's Daughter episode. You know the bit where he in his scary angry Doctor mode and nearly shoots the guy who killed Jenny? And he says all that about being "a man who never would"? Yeah. That.

:)

•••

The god who never would thunder

The king who never would rule

The thief who never would plunder

The fire that never can cool

The Lord who never would conquer

The man who never would live

The mind who never would ponder

The damaged who tries to forgive

The starter who never would finish

The devil who never would rage

The power who never diminished

The elder who never would age

The lover who never would admit

The loser who never would find

The gambler who never would luck it

The guard that never would bind

The friend who never would farewell

The hole that never would fill

The angel who never would hate hell

The murderer who never would kill


	12. Why do you cry?

A/N hey guys you are so awesome all these reviews and aaaah I love you

This is a random free verse thing that breezed by my mind. :)

•••

Hey you

Yes you

The tall one

Old dark eyes

Brown light hair

Lanky limbs

Purple coat

With the tails

And a bow tie

Of all things

Sitting there

Alone

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

Head in your hands

Shoulders hunched from time

And loss

And longing

With fingers clenched from rage

And hurt

And hate

Too much

Too soon

Too long

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

Glaring at your hands

Unwrinkled

And young

But

They betray their own

They have done

Too much

Killed too many

I think

It's you you hate

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

Cowering

In the shadows

From what? I ask

The world, I think

The crawl of time

But you cannot hide

You try to run

But it caught you

In its claws

Trapped

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

I see you have smiled

A long time ago

You laughed

And lived

And loved

No longer

You lost someone

I think

Someone of many

That's why your face

Is grim

And taught

No smiles here

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

Single tear

Slowly tracking

Down your cheek

You don't try to hide it

No

Too much hiding

You've had enough

Of this

I think

Enough

Of laughs

Of love

Of life

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

The old one

In a young young mind

You pretended

Before

You hid

And laughed

And smiled

Straightening your bow tie

With a flourish

No more

You're dark

And cold

And old

Why do you cry?

Hey you

Yes you

Too old

Too young

Too sad

Too heavy

I think

You saw it all

And can't forget

The loss

Of love

And longing

For life

It's gone

Now

Forever

In black

Hey you

Yes you

I know why you cry.


	13. I am there

A/N woo more dw poetry! Thank you so so so so much for your reviews you don't understand how happy they make me. I love you people! (Sorry for the repeated exclamation marks)

•••

The waves of the universe push and pull

Atoms gather and grow

Forces unknown move by silent whim

There is nothing

Then everything

All that can

All that could

All that has

All that will

I am there

It's burning

A sun

The very very first

Gravity is pounding

Unstoppable

There's something blooming inside

Creating

More and more

A promise

Of what is to come

I am there

Particles collecting

Coming together

Different and the same

Locking into the ticking of time

Planets and moons

Suns and meteors

Spinning and spinning and spinning

An endless dance is beginning

I am there

Lights shine brighter

Colours wash and wane

Exploding and shooting and playing

Among the black

The pits

Of dark

And deep

And nothing

That pull

And hunger

And eat

Nothing escapes them

The other side of the scale

The moons and the stars

And the black

Always black

I am there

On that tiny planet

Something grows

Tiny

But it grows

Life

It's here

The wanderers of this world

The stewards of the universe

And the destroyers

I am there

Humans

They have come

So fast they are growing

Building

Creating

Inventing

Changing

Evolving

But also shrinking

Annihilating

Crying

Shouting

Screaming

Killing

I am there

They spread and live

Cower and die

Scarce now

Until they are all gone

Humans are dead

Forgotten

But remembered

Only by me

I am there

It's slowing

The spinning

Coming to a halt

Ever so slowly

Only I can see

But it's stopping

It's stopping

It's slowing

It's ending

I am there

The holes are widening

The blackness looms

A maw of nothing

Into which everything falls

And it stops

It falls

It ends

There's nothing

No time

No space

There's less than nothing

There isn't even black

There isn't even dark

There isn't even deep

It has ended

Everything has gone

It doesn't exist

Nothing exists

Existence doesn't exist

There is no meaning

In anything

Less than nothing

But me

Just me

I am there


	14. An Ode to Living

A/N so some of you amazing readers (or maybe just one guest probably idk) have questioned why I say all this stuff about the doctor being a murderer and a demon and a killer etc etc etc. Not to be mean to that one guest, but have you been watching the same show as I have? Because there are so many times the Doctor kills, commits genocide, threatens unmercifully, causes to kill, or becomes a raging hateful madman. And then there are the little quotes and scenes that hint at even more darkness (I won't list any because there are literally hundreds I went through all these episodes writing then down once and like woah this is one sad, old, dark guy). So idk if its just that I dig all of that dark stuff up (I kind of enjoy it deep inside hehe) and present it so blatantly or what but yeah this is my a/n in response to that one guest because I can't pm you and I really want to reply (not trying to be mean! Just saying why I think all this and wondering why you have that opinion?). The guest probs won't even read this anyway but Whatevs it's her and this a/n is longer than the poem now so I'm gonna shut up. Thanks for the reviews and bye for now.

•••

An ode to living

Was written once or twice

A praise for being

'Fore you pay its harsh price

An ode to living

Such a silly thing

Why give great thanks

For a fleeting little fling?

An ode to living

It's what you expected

But that dainty theme

This poem's neglected

An ode to living

Please don't make me laugh

Life isn't worth loving

When hearts break in half

An ode to living

Oxymoron, I say

Odes are so beautiful

Life's a much darker way

An ode to living

Then where is my feast?

Life gave me nothing

Turned me to a beast

An ode to living

Not a true one was writ

Til all read this rhyme

And their dusty minds lit

An ode to living

But we are all lying

So this should enlighten you

Life, an ode to dying


	15. With Devil's Title Crowned

With Devil's Title Crowned

A/N about the time war and stuff. Yeah. :)

•••

Two immortal races,

Locked in an endless war.

One tried to leave no traces,

One simply slashed and tore.

This war killed far too many,

Destroyed whole galaxies.

Hope? there was barely any,

Great ones fell to their knees.

One man who ran stood still,

Saw this and was repulsed.

That his own race would kill,

In blood the universe engulfed.

Soon this man saw too much,

Angered by unneeded deaths.

The rage a black nonesuch,

Even in his ragged breaths.

He led armies to battle,

Screamed on the front lines.

Commanding his kind like cattle,

To find peace for which he pines.

He shone, a flaring sun,

A god drenched in hot blood.

But finally when it was done,

Then guilt in him did flood.

He sank as low as the other side,

Murdering for justice.

Never he by the laws abide,

Though Lords called to him "trust us!"

He burned as black as a dalek heart,

He knew what he had to do.

The war with this universe must part,

The warriors to die too.

In innocent blood he drowned,

Two races gone extinct.

With a devil's title crowned,

His soul now derelict.


End file.
